crazed2insanity's Xanga

Touch

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:01:00 GMT

So there's that whole thing called like the 5 love languages... gift-giving, qualitytime, physical touch, encouraging words, and acts of service. Someone close to me told me that he thought mine was encouraging words and while that is true I dont know if it is entirely. I have come to the realization that physical touch is something I totally crave. I think that contributes alot to my delinquencies. but that wasnt my original point. The thing is that my father will give me a hug and I feel something. Darby will just play around with me and call me pixie and it means something. Winston...it's funny with him. I think out of all the male influence in my life his opinions mean the most to me. and we talk alot but we dont hug or anything. But lately (and maybe im just on crack) he's been goofing around more. like patting my head, or laying his hand on my shoulder just for a second...and today we were in the kitchen and he kinda half tickled me when he called me a crackhead. And it made me feel something...I want to say joy but that wasnt it. It was just like a spark of something that made me want to smile. I dont know how to describe it.
Not to leave out Lisa, or Miranda...or even my mother (although i dont recall enjoying being touched by her for years but I am sure there was a time) but it's different when it is a guy...especially one I respect. those pats on the head or whatnot make me feel more...(wanted? part of something? Im not sure)...than "being" with a guy ever has...I dont know. I've thought about it recently...especially yesterday when I saw all three of them in one day...I dont know. As much as I like it or whatever it makes me nervous. I dont know. Im not sure what I am say...I think winston's right...Im totally on crack.

Life fest

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 00:25:54 GMT

dude! life fest is less than 2wks away!! wahoo!!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 01:11:11 GMT

yay i have a myspace now!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Fri, 26 May 2006 18:08:39 GMT

i have a D and C scheduled for the 31st

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sun, 14 May 2006 00:25:25 GMT

i guess...maybe...there's like the tiniest teeniest possibility that the baby is alive.....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thu, 11 May 2006 23:43:23 GMT

so...ya. this sux.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thu, 11 May 2006 23:43:23 GMT

apparently baby has no heartbeat. that is a bad thing.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mon, 08 May 2006 23:28:58 GMT

i lied my ultrasound is on thursday...

Official News

Sat, 06 May 2006 23:14:50 GMT

So I am officially 10wks along!!! oh and i get my first ultrasound on tue! Im excited. I guess if the baby's head is the right direction they can take a 3d pic of its face. How sweet is that?!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 01:52:59 GMT

well this is certianly an interesting predicament